May 6, 2005

Being a Mommy...

What an awesome and amazing experience it is to be a mommy. It is amazing what we are able to do with what we have been given to do it with. I have never been more fulfilled and exhausted at the same time in my life before. I love my daughter more than anything, but those first few days are nothing I'm excited to repeat yet...time is fading those early days, so I'm sure she will get a sibling some day, but not in the near future if I can help it ;) It simply amazed me how tired I was at at time when I felt I needed to be the most rested and level headed. It also was the wierdest feeling to get in the elevator at the hospital and leave with our tiny precious baby, and no one was going to make us quantify our readiness to be parents. It seems to be assumed that if you can make a baby, you can take care of it.
Thankfully, there is instinct that kicks in...and thankfully I only had to get through a minor dose of "the baby blues" (mostly I was upset that we were going to be leaving my family a few weeks after she was born). I am thankful every day that my husband and my family loves me enough and is supportive enough to fill in wherever I am lacking, and that my daughter is young enough and trusting enough to not give me a hard time for all the little things that dont go as well as they could...of course we are in a learning process...and thankfully I have been blessed with a healthy baby, so we have not had to wade through any major crises yet.

I really think though that most of my strength comes from my trust in my Heavenly Father, who has truly been there to hold me when no one else knew I needed to be held, or how to hold me. As a new mother, I now no longer think it is a "fluke" that many moms and dads feel driven to get their children to church. There is something about the responsibility for my little one, that makes me desire to be closer to the only Truth I know. Especially in this day and age when there are at least two books for "every stituation a parent/child unit could encounter" and advice everywhere you seems that this input overload sends me running to the only constant Truth I've ever known.

I also know that I owe a lot to my mom, who has been an awesome example of loving with all that you have. My mom is my other constant. Her steadfast love and support has gotten us through many valleys, and she has always helped us find the sun (and the Son). I am so thankful to have been brought up in a manner that I am able to appreciate the small things in life. To have a true appreciation for what we do have, and not be constantly focused on what we do not have. I hope that I am able to instill the same grounded sense in my children.

Well...I better get to bed, just had to share a few thoughts before I turned in :)


J. said...

Well said indeed. Happy mother's day to you!

Maureen said...

A beautiful post.
It's been a while since I thought about the birth of our first one. He's 18 and has two sisters 15 and 11. I remember leaving for the hospital to have him and walking down the sidewalk of our house, looking back at it and thinking, "the next time I walk through that door, I'll be a mom." What an overwhelming feeling I remember it being. And indeed, being a mom can be overwhelming. But when you have faith and trust in a higher power, you can make it through anything.
Hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day.